Know that Mariah Carey song?  I used to love it when I was younger. (yes, there are in fact many Mariah Carey fans out there.  She sold a lot of records, you know...but I digress)

I am always amazed when I still occasionally have trouble expressing strong emotions.  I spoken with others who are recovered and they express often having a similar difficulty.

I think that part of the eating disorder is the suppression of emotions as a coping device.  We have learned coping mechanisms for when eating disordered thoughts occur.  It wasn't until I had someone suggest to me that I ought to try just staying in the moment and letting myself feel the emotion, that I realized that there is some discomfort with that initially.  Realizing that the eating disorder often served to distract myself from my emotions, I am surprised that alternate forms of distraction are taught as coping mechanisms. 

Perhaps this is useful in early recovery, but as one progresses, I think it is important to attempt to actually allow ourselves to have an emotion without doing anything about it, except stay in the moment and feel it.  Learn that it WILL eventually pass. (Though God knows it seems to take a long time for this to occur initially!)

Afterwards, that sense of accomplishment is often present and you will gain the knowledge that having emotions is a perfectly normal thing.  Not expressing or feeling them is NOT normal.  Learning that you do not have to binge, purge, restrict, exercise or engage in other eating disordered behavior to distract yourself is vital.  But learning that you do not always have to take a bath, or walk, or turn on the tv is key to learning to self soothe.  While these things are great, and I personally believe that the bubble bath was one of God's many gifts to womankind, if you always have to use it and cannot allow yourself to "feel" there is a problem.  Perhaps then the bubble bath should be a reward for having felt intense emotions, and not having acted upon them.

Hmmm, just a thought...