I recently wrote a post about the frustration of people not knowing that one can have an eating disorder and not be emaciated appearing.  (post appears below).  When I re-read the post, I realized that a key part of getting over the eating disorder is no longer identifying with it. 

I wish to make myself clear.  There is a difference between someone admitting that they have a problem with an eating disorder, and being upset that they no longer posess the eating disorder or an eating disordered look.

One of the scary things for me was that point at which I began to give up the disordered behaviors and now was faced with filling my time.  Before the eating disorder, I had a life filled with friends and hobbies.  Those things were lost.  Now I fight to get them back.

So I played online games, (I love scrabble and family feud!), I watched movies, jeopardy, law and order (thank you TNT, USA and BRAVO), read books (john grisham and james patterson) and STILL was left with extra time. 

So...I started my website and made attempts to try to help others.  Even now, I still realize that there are SO many things that I want to do with my life such as practice my french and spanish and now I am playing my flute again (even though I am certain that my neighbors probably are really annoyed when I play into the higher registers!).

I also recently made my first turkey this past thanksgiving (it was great and I have pictures) and my first meatloaf (it sucked and I threw it away!--can't be good at everything!)

The point is, correct people for their ignorance, then move on.  Make certain that your identity is not solely that of a eating disorder sufferer/survivor but of a movie/history buff, bookworm, linguist, flautist, and chef.  Okay, I'm never going to be Emeril LaGasse, but a girl can dream!

Kicking it up a notch,
Leslie

I welcome responses at leslie@edrsweb.org or visit http://edrsweb.org


(Prior Post)

Gosh, you don't look like you have an eating disorder...

Have you heard this before?

I have to admit that I am having difficulty with being patient with people who hold the misconception that someone cannot have an eating disorder unless they are emaciated.  More often in our distorted society, the image of emaciated models is so prevalent, that it becomes difficult to look and someone and know who actually meets weight criteria for anorexia nervosa because of our desensitization to below normal weight models.

Let's keep facts in mind.  There are more people with bulimia and binge eating disorder than with anorexia nervosa.  It is possible to meet criteria for these disorders and exist on multiple places in the weight spectrum from normal weight to severely obese.

Telling someone that they don't look like they have an eating disorder is one of the most damaging things that one can say.  First, it does not validate someone's attempt to be honest about their struggle and what is happening with them, and I had actually known people who upon hearing this makes them want to lose more weight in order to achieve the "proper look" of an eating disordered person.

Similarly, someone recovering from anorexia nervosa may no longer meet weight criteria for their illness, but still struggle with cognitions to the point that if they were told that they didn't look eating disordered, would make attempts to resume their previous state.

In the end, it has to come down to us, those who have suffered, to correct misconceptions, and the sufferers to be prepared for the ignorance of others and not allow this to deter them from their goal of recovery.